Doomloop! Vol. 2: Bike lanes, layoffs, and an Anh Phoong apology
Your favorite weekly roundup of SF Bay Area News
The Marina Times issued its assessment of Mayor Daniel Lurie’s first fourteen days in office: “he doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing and he wants to run the city like his nonprofit—lots of underlings, lots of parties, throw money at problems. (sic)”
Meanwhile, Mission Local reports that that the mayor’s citywide hiring freeze is neither citywide nor a hiring freeze.
The San Francisco Democratic County Central Committee spent much of the week drafting, introducing, discussing, and passing a resolution to “call out” big money supporting pro-Trump causes.
In what will certainly be a calm and dignified process, the town of San Anselmo is reviewing park rules on dogs.
In a blow to martini-swilling sailers, iconic Tiburon waterfront restaurant Sam’s has been ordered to close their docks to all boats until renovations have ensured “the dock [is] level side to side, within 2% cross slope”.
FEZ, a boutique clothing store in Mill Valley, has removed its beloved neon sign after city code enforcers declared: “City’s (sic) do not want the towns (sic), specifically their downtown areas looking something like Las Vegas or Hong Kong.”
An Oakland man, who failed to properly file paperwork when he sold his 2008 BMW X3 to an acquaintance, now owes $38,350 in traffic fines to the city of San Francisco. The San Francisco Chronicle notes that he “loved the car’s rosy brown-orange dash and leather seats” but had to offload it when it developed electrical problems.
Oaklandside reports that Oakland’s City Administrator did not “sugarcoat” the news that the city will be terminating nearly 100 employees as part of a larger budget balancing plan.
After SFGATE reported that the owner of George’s Donuts & Merriment donated to Donald Trump’s inauguration fund, locals began organizing online to determine whether other local businesses have made illicit political contributions.
Alnico restaurant, which KRON4 reports was dubbed “the Asian fusion brunch spot you need to try” by an Instagram food influencer, is closing after its third break-in within six weeks. Previously, break-ins would occur every six months or so.
A man was caught on video hurling eggs at a sleeping homeless person at the corner of Cole and Haight. He was well-supplied by a 48-egg carton in the trunk of his Toyota Prius, and according to his LinkedIn page is currently looking for work.
Community News Lab, a nonprofit, has installed a vertical TV screen with a cardboard Golden Gate Bridge wearing googly eyes at the 24th Street BART plaza. No decisions have been made as to what will be displayed on the screen.
After flooding the region with Detroit-style pizza, SF Bay Area restaurants are ready to appropriate another midwest staple. This time it’s tavern-style pizza, Chicago’s beloved thin crust pies with its distinct crackerlike dough.
The Valencia Street bike lane, which previously moved to the center of the street to much controversy, is returning to its former curbside location, but with “promised impovements”.
The Golden State Warriors thrilled fans with a two-game winning streak against the Utah Jazz and the Oklahoma Thunder, before succumbing to the Phoenix Suns.
In an apparent bid to promote the NFL in Mexico, fans can now visit a San Francisco 49ers-themed KFC in Mexico City, which also has a robot that delivers food.
Union Square is adding new amenities in order to draw back shoppers including giant Scrabble, pop-a-shot basketball, and book carts.
Complaints about the meager $500 first-place prize offered by multimillionaire personal injury attorney Anh Phoong for a billboard design contest prompted her to apologize: “We never meant to offend anyone as we truly do appreciate the creatives of the world.” The winner will now receive $5,000.
In a boon for the region’s strained housing supply, a duplex addition has been proposed for 8015 Ney Avenue in Oakland.
Robin Williams’ old digs in Sea Cliff have finally sold, for $7 million less than the listed $25 million price tag.
For those who wish they lived in Manhattan save its dreadful weather, a doorman-equipped co-op is now available in the prestigious, salmon-colored building at 2006 Washington St. in Pacific Heights.
A social media user noted they will never mock San Francisco because they’re “incredibly grateful that there is a population of young men who have decided to go to bed early and take methamphetamine and forego sexual relations entirely to prop up my 401k.”
